Weekly Waste?

EA Sports · Guru

RE: Weekly Waste?

Jobison · Member

How dare you. I am the Mary Richards of my office.

pocaroba · Guru

They were giving you dirty looks because they hate you.

Duh.

Jobison · Member

This Weeks Waste

EA Sports · Guru

RE: Weekly Waste?

Wockenfuss · Guru

I know, I actually saw that when I was poking around the nether regions of the web. Are you calling Bugs a racist?

Also - douche fingers is good, but it needs a snappier name. Douche digits? The scissors of scrote? Something like that.

EA Sports · Guru

Maroon - a member of a group of black people living in the mountains and forests of Suriname and the West Indies, descended from escaped slaves. (From French "marron" = feral)

Also, see Bugs Bunny and the new spin that knowledge puts on his oft-used phrase, "what a maroon."

EA Sports · Guru

New slang: douche-fingers. You know when d-bags throw that sideways peace sign in photos, usually with a beer or cell phone in the hand throwing the sign? Yeah, those are douche-fingers.

EA Sports · Guru

Note on this week's top ten list; I actually found Tropic Thunder to be funnier than I expected. Go figure...

EA Sports · Guru

Absolutely male-on-male.

How bout this snow, huh, guys?

Wockenfuss · Guru

I'm assuming you mean male on male love...?

That's what I'm taking it as, because gay is always funnier.

EA Sports · Guru

Got some slang...

c_o_c_k-ward - when unrequited male love gets a little... weird.

-- Edited by EA Sports at 00:43, 2008-12-07

EA Sports · Guru

I been here, I been there. This and that. You know, the usual.

Wockenfuss · Guru

Nice. I can always use a week off from trying to be witty.

Where you been?

EA Sports · Guru

I make my long anticipated return!

So I've got a top ten list if you're interested BTB...

The Top Ten Band Names That Make Me Think All The Good Ones Are Finally Taken (With My Joke Names For Them Where Applicable):

10. Pussycat Dolls

9. Vampire Weekend (Vampire Stink-end)

8. The Fartz (The Squirtz)

7. Jay Reatard

6. Panic! At The Disco

5. The Hold Steady

4. Tight E Whitey

3. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Crap Your Pants Say Yeah)

2. Tie Between Phish & Limp Bizkit

1. Test Icicles (Testicles)

dold · Senior Member

Clearly it's gone a little downhill since I handed over the "master of ceremony" duties. But I have to say that I found the clip utterly amusing. What the hell was that girl wearing? She looks like Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. It also hard to say what I like better about the "taco eating contest"- that the producers pit a wife-beater sporting thug against a polo wearing accountant, or that when asked how he feels about polishing off (spoiler alert) three tacos, the thug replies "f__king awesome." And he's totally serious. Do yourselves a favor folks and check the clip out. It's the best 2:35 seconds of your day.

Wockenfuss · Guru

Not a fan of the wrestling video reviews, eh?

And D, what's up with Taco Mania?

dold · Senior Member

No movie review this week? That gets a dude weak if you ask me.

Wockenfuss · Guru

The pleasure pistol has been compromised.

Abort.

EA Sports · Guru

I'm up far later than I should be but I can't sleep.

Thank you for cancelling the career of the Pleasure Pistol/The Shocker. Now I can use it in full irony.

Fall is upon us.

EA Sports · Guru

Hooray unsubscribe.

I'm not quite sure what it is, but I always get a kick out of making the slang list.

pocaroba · Guru

I second John Nada! Genius!

"Unsubscribe" is pretty good too. I can't remember if we already used it but we also use "conversation over" quite a bit at this house. I stole it from that SNL retrospective book. Apparently Lorne Michaels abruptly ended a conversation with someone with that phrase. It comes in handy all the time.

And yeah, "stoked like steve" and its bastard cousin "stoked like staios" really should be on there.

dold · Senior Member

I say we use "John Nada" from They Live.

That dude was all kinds of John Nada!

Wockenfuss · Guru

That's a good one. We'll run with it.

I like the Wolfman one, but I'm still not sure if I'm clear on the definition. We could toss non sequiturs around all day here, folks. Let's get concrete.

And so far my original "McClain" idea is still the front runner for the witty quips while in extreme danger slang. Although I would rather use something a bit more obscure and possibly funnier sounding. I know there's a great one out there that I'm just drawing a blank on.

I was counting on biff, and once again, he has failed miserably.

As for that email exchange, I don't see why they're referencing BBD songs when talking about a New Edition reunion. But it's still funny.

<UNSUBSCRIBE>

EA Sports · Guru

I'd also like to propose "unsubscribe" as a sweet way of ending a conversation you don't want to continue.

Refers to this, Awesome e-mail correspondence.

Usage:
"Dude, my Coug totally went to town on my backne last night."

"Unsubscribe."

dold · Senior Member

Yeah, I've been using it as much as possible and people's reactions are hilarious. They either have no effing clue what I'm talking about and they just go "yeah, okay." Or they're like, "Like Monster Squad?"
Which reminds me, how the hell has "Stoked Like Steve!" or it's cousin "Stoked Like Staios!" never been one of the hip phrases? I mean seriously, we use it all the time.

pocaroba · Guru

That is too funny. When I recently laid down some vocals for the upcoming Sticks Downey CD one of my lines is "you're non-existent like the Wolfman's nards." I was pretty proud of it.

Any sort of nards slang is fine by me. I just love that word. Nards.

As for the McClain/McQuip/cuffing debate, I am undecided. "McClained" would obviously be the one that a normal person might understand. Not that I care about that.

dold · Senior Member

I recently discovered that Monster Squad has FINALLY been released on DVD. Thus I would also like to suggest the phrase, "Wolf man has nards" for the slang phrase- in the context of using it as a counter point, or even agreeing with someone during conversation.
I've been using it around the office the last few days, and it generally has a pretty funny/confusing effect. For instance.

Man, did you see that meth house that was busted out in Gresham?

Yeah that was crazy, the house was full on whiskey tangos!

Dude, why do all the meth houses seem to be in Gresham?

Well ya know, wolf man does have nards.

EA Sports · Guru

What about "cuffing"?

As in, "Remember in Independence Day when Will Smith cuffed his way through that whole jet fighter scene?"

pocaroba · Guru

Yeah, I urinated in my pants at the ass-piss slang. Nice work.

As for the the McClain/McQuip argument, I am torn. Both are equally awesome. I'll marinate on it a bit.

EA Sports · Guru

Also, I'd like to put forth "B-T-dubs" as a totally sweet way of saying by the way.

As far as I know it's an EA Sports/Gaylord Perry original.

EA Sports · Guru

Wow, the asspiss slang does rule. Not too much opportunity for use in polite company, but then again, I don't spend much time in polite company.

As for the off-the-cuff business, I'd like to put forward "McQuip." It kinda works in McClain, but is general enough to include even Will Smith and his quipping in movies like Independence Day and Men In Black. Plus, the "Mc" part of it (to me) implies a generic distasteful aspect (see: McDonald's) fitting in rather nicely with how most of these off the cuff remarks go over.

dold · Senior Member

This weeks slang phrase (Asspiss situation) had me laughing harder than I have in a very long time. I'm still wiping the tears away. Seriously, everyone in my office thought I had monkey pocks all sudden because I was falling out my chair with water pouring from my eyes. I can't wait to use it.

Wockenfuss · Guru

Is there a slang word for when action movie stars make off-the-cuff remarks (usually to themselves) while in the midst of extreme danger? If you've seen any of the Die Hard movies you know what I'm talking about.

If not, we need to invent one.

"McClain" seems like the obvious choice. Like "Dude, he just McClained his way through that whole shoutout."

Anybody got a better one?

Jobison · Member

Cancel One Career: Dishwalla.

How the hell do you come up with this stuff? I haven't thought about Dishwalla since 1996. In fact, I think "Counting Blue Cars" was playing on the radio when I got my first period.

Jobison · Member

7/1/08 Gome of the week: HILARIOUS. And oh so accurate.

-- Edited by Jobison at 18:13, 2008-07-09

pocaroba · Guru

The Buhner had me rolling.

Wockenfuss · Guru

They've done a bunch of new ones in the past few weeks. Here's the Mariners:

pocaroba · Guru

The Dykstra had the exact same effect on me. The Gary Carter made my eyes water. With laughter.

Wockenfuss · Guru

I want to be this guy's friend. His Lenny Dykstra made me urinate a little.

Drainiac · Member

Keep checking back on Youtube....they just posted an all time Cardinals, Braves, Cubs, and Mets....and yes, the Mets video does have a nice Ray Knight impression

pocaroba · Guru

I forgot to mention that The Bags were also a late '70s LA punk band. And wouldn't you know it they played with bags on their heads. So n'yea to the new Bags.

I watched that batting stance video about 5 times. Will Clark was my favorite. If I hung out with that guy I could never stop making him do those. I would love to see his Ray Knight.

EA Sports · Guru

You make it sound so dignified by calling it a "fireside conversation." It's funny to imagine that (gentlemen in smoking jackets with brandy and pipes) compared to what it actually was (a neighbor rambling drunkenly with a can of Natty Light next to a wood fire in one of those raised metal receptacles).

I'm glad someone has taken on the moniker. Can you get in touch with them and ask them to name their next album "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Bags"?

btw, got some slang for ya. Came up with it myself (I think) last night whie working in the Control Room down here at the park. Muff-stache. Pretty obvious what it refers to, methinks.

-- Edited by EA Sports at 18:45, 2008-05-23

Wockenfuss · Guru

EA, regarding your fireside conversation, someone beat you to it.

Drainiac · Member

"Word up, Cameo" - a sweet way to confirm something. I use it all time, kind of in the same sense as "What's the Dio, Ronnie James?" or "What's your beef, Stew?".....

Wockenfuss · Guru

That kid nailed those batting stances. I think the Carney Lansford was my favorite.

Don't hold your breath for "meat wallet."

Drainiac · Member

Glad you were able to work in the Batting Stances of the 80's video. Isn't that classic? I was so happy when I found it. There's also good vids of current and past Yankees batting stances and Red Sox. The Nomar is not to be missed.

Word of the week suggestion: Meatwallet. Heard a drunk guy at a bar say to me, "When are these chicks gonna start opening their meatwallets?"

I know its a bit vulgar for your taste, but its certainly a winner.

Here's another: Travestized. It's an uneducated combination of traumatized and travesty that a friend of mine told me he saw on some documentary about pimps. This pimp's ho got killed, and she was apparently his thoroughbred when it came to bringin in da cash, so as he sat over her lifeless body at her open-casket funeral, he said to the camera that he was "travestized". Classic.

pocaroba · Guru

That phrase also works on the level that it lets me know that the (douche) Bags are here. I like it.

What about "crads?" I don't think that I have called a "card" a "card" in my entire life. It's not the funniest thing ever but is definitely a word I use all the time.

EA Sports · Guru

I can dig a workload, though I kind of thought the complete out of context-ness would get people's interest piqued.

So, waste....I heard someone refer to a lesbian as a "vagitarian" recently.

Additionally, I've been using the phrase, "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bags" as a very sweet way to annouce the arrival of the dude patrol to wherever it is that you are. It refers to my band being up at our drummer's parent's cabin in Washington and the neighbor/drunkard came over one evening and sat around the fire and tried to convince us to change our band's name to "The Bags." He even said the album should be called, "Ladies and Gentlemen; The Bags."

I feel like I had a couple other things to suggest, but they're escaping me at the moment. I'll chime in later once I remember.

Wockenfuss · Guru

Might be hard to do, because most of the comments are contextual.

And, it takes me long enough every Tuesday night to do the Waste, I'm not sure if I want to add anything else to my list.

I have a feeling there are lurkers on this board this don't post. I'm OK with that.