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EA Sports


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RE: Weekly Waste?
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I feel bad about this....

 

 

Drowns Syndrome: what your buddy has after he's had way too much too drink & his eyes are droopy, his speech slurred & doesn't have very good motor control. From "drowning in alcohol."



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"Motorbutting" - take a wild guess...



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Release the Crappin' - a sweet way to indicate something sucks. 

 

"Dude, I can't wait to hop on the loser cruiser & MAX it out to Gresham to watch my lady get her new "Tiger Woods was here' tramp stamp!"

 

"Dude, release the Crappin'!"



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Penility - It's like senility but used to desribe when all you can think about is sex.



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Dropping 2 Large - a thugish way to say you're taking a deuce. Somehow got the inspiration for this from watching The Wire.



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Heffatitis - n. - being good with the ladies. 

 

"Dude, check it out, Jay's got three got dames hanging on his every word."
"Yeah, he's got a severe case of Heff C today." 



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Slang: "fcuk your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside."

A sweet non-sequiter way to disagree with someone.



-- Edited by EA Sports on Tuesday 22nd of March 2011 07:22:11 AM

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Wockenfuss


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Thanks dude. An oldie but a goodie. Can't believe I never thought to use it before.

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EA Sports


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Solid slang this week

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Bertation (n.) - 



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I've done Cover Your Hearts with a couple groups the past 2 years, but didn't get to know her much until she started coming to a Monday Night Football thing myself & a couple of friends have been doing this past season. She seems like solid people.

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Wockenfuss


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I saw you guys were friends on Facebook. I was wondering how that came about. She's a good one.

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Speaking of co-workers, Wock (or former co-workers anyway), I won a pub quiz on a team with Pamela Rooney last night.

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Wockenfuss


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Ah, gobblers. 

Yes, Dold, I met you co-worker and meant to tell you that like a month ago. But since my scene-stealing performance in the Duover video I've been in high demand. You understand.


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Any of y'alls been by damnyouautocorrect.com? Seems like it might be a pretty sweet resource in case you need last minute slang. Case in point:

gobblers.jpg


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Happy festive season er'body.

That Duover vid is a pretty sweet watch.


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dold


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Just wanted to wish all you sluts a happy holidays.

Wock, I saw you in the Duover video bustin' your moves, good stuff. It looks like you got to meet my coworker Dan. Looks like you kids had a good time with that.



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Good to see you, too, Zach. I was mid-bender with a friend visiting from out of town. Good times.

Getting mighty stoked for the MLS season to get started...


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Wockenfuss


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Class is always my goal.

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dold


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Man, I just have to say, the Waste has really been getting me through some rough days at work. Keep keepin' it classy fellas.
P.S. good running into you a few weeks ago EA. You getting pumped for the new Timbers season? Finally going big time!

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EA Sports


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The video linked in this week's slang is too legit.

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Wockenfuss


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Ha. I like it.

I have a feeling it will end up on the site soon. I'm running out of ideas. Of course I've been saying that for like nine years now.

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dold


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I was just in Europe for a few weeks not too long ago and there was a plethora of slang that was killing me. Though it wasn't so much on the punny side, which tends to be how I like my slang.
I've been using "Mahoosive" a lot lately, like a combination of "Massive" and "Huge." Basically meaning anything that's really efffing big "that coug has a mahoosive rack!" or "man, Chad such a mahoosive **** all the time!"

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Hmmm:
****tle
Flounders
Urethral Sounders (search it on Wikipedia, you won't regret it)
we call the "fans" Customers

that's what I got off the top of my head.

I haven't heard any good slang recently, it seems all mine comes from the Weekly Waste.


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Wockenfuss


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Anybody heard any funny slang recently?

Maybe EA could just list all of the derogatory names Timbers fans have for the team from Seattle.

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Sly Records, Hooooooo!

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Wockenfuss


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I know! This is getting sad. Let's bring this thing back to life.

As we've tried to so many times before.

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dold


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Dude, where did everyone go...???

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Just calling a dude a "Rollie Dingers". (Dingers/Scissors of Scrote) It rolls off my tongue nicely.

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Wockenfuss


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How so?

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With my near constant dealings with baseball, I've recently started using Rollie Dingers as a pretty enjoyable insult.

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Wockenfuss


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Thanks Dold!

I do my best to keep the three of you entertained.

I've been meaning to read that David Cross book for a long time. Now I'll definitely make it happen.


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dold


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While pretty much every week the waste has me chuckling, I just wanted to a specific shout out to this week, especially the link, slang word, and top ten list.
Keep up the hilarity Wock.

Ohhh, and on a completely unrelated topic. I read the David Cross book last week. Has anyone checked it out? I about fell out of bed while reading one evening, as there is totally a Biff Pocaroba reference amongst it's pages. Like books, check it out.

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Wockenfuss


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Ah yes, the Massengill scale. I keep forgetting about that one. I'll get it up.

Speaking of getting it up, Brewer's Droop is fairly funny.


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IED (Improvised Erectile Disfunction): aka Brewer's Droop or Whiskey Dick. Had too much to drink and you can't get it up.


Also, the Massengill Scale has gotten some laughs when I've used it recently.


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I'm not really sure what to define about it, it's so multi-faceted. Encountered some manner of douchebag/douchebaggery during your day? Need to tell your friend and need an elegant way to do so? Give it a rating on the Massengill Scale. 

"Dude, it's Thirsty Thursday at PGE Park, the Bro-heems are swarming!"

"Fer sure dude. The widmer garden is about a 9.5 on the Massengill scale right now."




On the ever so slight chance you're unaware, Massengill is a brand of douche. 


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Wockenfuss


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Got a more detailed definition?

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I submit the Massengill Scale for the slang. It's a ranking scale for douchebags/douchebaggery. I'm pretty sure I thought it up on my own, though I guess there's always the possibility I heard it somewhere and stored it deep in my memory.

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Wockenfuss


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Roddi - those sites are indeed gold, though yes, the GHM one is a bit racy for my liking, as I assume a lot of people browse the site at work.

That hasn't stopped me from checking out the archives, however.

Keep coming with the slang, y'all. Think I might use Fanta pants this week...


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Also, just remembered this one. Not very PC.

Gay-os (sounds like chaos) - a state of extreme lameness.

Usage: 
"Dude did you see that new Blazers marketing campaign?"
"Yeah, the Rip City Uprise? The archaic verb that's being used like a noun? Pretty weak sauce.
"Yeah, dude. Utter Gay-os."


-- Edited by EA Sports on Thursday 30th of April 2009 04:59:29 AM

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roddi kneff


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another mildly funny site i just came across:

http://tinyurl.com/c8vkwu

 



-- Edited by roddi kneff on Sunday 26th of April 2009 05:31:02 AM

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roddi kneff


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maybe since this site is not safe for work it wouldn't work for a "This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great" but i find this pretty damn funny. enjoy:

http://guesshermuff.blogspot.com/

-- Edited by roddi kneff on Thursday 23rd of April 2009 06:49:34 AM

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Fer cereal.

It's not so much a vid. I took a picture of the TV I was watching with my camera phone. I've never tried, but youtube might yield some results as far as d-bags at golf tournaments.




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Wockenfuss


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It's like Happy Gilmore in real life!

Do you have a link to that vid?

And I feel like I already used Phil Spector once...though now I'm not so sure.

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It's a photo of a TV. The camera was in the trees following Phil Mickelson and right after he hit his shot out of the trees, this gome jumps in front of the camera and starts hopping up and down like he's at a frat rock show. It sucked azz. He personified for me the frustration with all the bullsh!t yelling people are doing at golf tournaments these days. 

Edit: Also, should Phil Spector be cancel one career this week?


-- Edited by EA Sports on Wednesday 15th of April 2009 05:45:29 PM

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Wockenfuss


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What is that photo?

And I see, they're yelling it at a time when there's no possible chance of the ball getting near the hole.

Wow, I hate everyone.

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The top ten makes it sound like a good time was had by all.

Came up with a gome while watching the Masters over the weekend...

It's the dudes who yell,  "Get in the hole!!" as loudly as possible as soon as possible after a tee-shot on a par 5 (or anytime for that matter). That ball just ain't going in the hole & you're a fu-quit for yelling at a golf tournament.









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Happy rocking!



As it is, I was going to suggest some slang;

Literally: A really sweet way to sound prone to hyperbole/exhibit a stunning lack of vocabulary/sound like a giant *******. 

Usage: 
"Dude, I was out at the bar with my coug last night and I literally spent, like, a thousand bucks on my tab!"

"Dude! You spent a thou? What were you drinking, Budweiser Select or something?" 

"Well, no. I think it was $75."

"Dude, that's still a nice chunk of change. That's, like, literally a new Xbox 360 controller or something." 

"Yeah, my jaw literally hit the floor when I saw the total."

"Wow, I'm in awe of your drinking skills. Literally."


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Wockenfuss


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Just a heads up, chaps

The updates will most likely be late this week, as I'm going to rocking Olympia on Tues. night with Sticks Downey. I'll get 'em up as soon as I can.

That's what she said.


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Wockenfuss


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That almost makes sense.

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