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Post Info TOPIC: John Rambo


Guru

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RE: John Rambo


I am embarrassed to reveal that I totally didn't go and see this. It looked so bad that I could never muster the energy to go see it. I was going to maybe catch it a cheap theatre and then, honestly, completely forgot about it. It hit me like two days ago. I completely forgot that it existed. And I liked it better that way. Who knows, maybe it will be funny bad.

Of all the poor career choices he has made, making this movie ranks right up there with directing "Staying Alive."

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I havnt seen it yet either. Every time I even bring it up I get vetoed. Someone has got review this for the site. Eric?

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Did anyone ever see this?

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Guru

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Stallone, quit the action movies already. My god. For awhile it looked like he was going to make a movie about Tupac and Biggie and the police cover up. Now THAT I would see. But him doing action at 60? Good gravy. I still haven't gone to see Rambo yet. I am trying to work up the nerve. AVGN's review of the first three pretty much sum up my opinion on them as well, although he is a little kinder to First Blood Part II than I would be.

While I am at it, I want to get this off my chest. I am a collector. I like things to be neatly organized and to look good on my shelf. Nothing peeves me more than the stupidity of the names of the Rambo quadrilogy. Observe:

1. First Blood
2. Rambo: First Blood Part II
3. Rambo III
4. Rambo

First of all, I HATE when sequels have a separate title than the predecessor. What is wrong with First Blood 2 or First Blood 2: Rambo? Nothing. But they have to put "Rambo" first. So now it looks retarded on my shelf if I put them next to each other. Next, they name the third installment "Rambo III." I'm sorry. Was there a Rambo 1? Oh yeah, it was called "First Blood Part II." Does that make any sense at all? And the final insult? What in the hell is "Rambo?" I believe that is the frickin' title of the 2nd movie. Is it not? Call it "John Rambo" or "Rambo IV" but to call it "Rambo" is a slap in my nit-picky collector face.

There, I feel better.

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Guru

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And he's not done yet...

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Apparently it's the deadliest one yet. The reviews have been mixed at best. Here's the review from the AVGN:


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Guru

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No, not yet. I'll admit that I am in no way excited to go see it. I'll probably go see it in a few weeks. I barely even like Rambo and this one just looks awful. He looks really gross in this. And why does Rambo still have a LBST? Was that necessary?

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Guru

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I like that guy. I also like the fact that there is someone with enough time on their hands to so this sort of stuff.

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Guru

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Angry Video Game Nerd takes on the Rambo video games.

Biff, did you see the movie yet?

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Guru

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That Sex Scene stat line is very telling.

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Guru

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It's this weekend, isn't it?
Rambodeathschart.jpg

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Guru

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It appears to be real. He is really not cool with getting old, that is clear.

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Guru

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Wait a minute? Is that real? That can't be. Where did you find that. My heart is palpitating right now. Why does he continue to shame me? Why?

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Guru

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1130_sylvester_tattoo_celebritybaby.jpg
Dude...

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Guru

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I totally agree. I think Rambo will do better than I think it should. Because there is the old guy factor as well as the young 20-something ironic factor. It looks both unintenionally hilarious and extremely violent, so there's that. While I wish that Stallone would hang up the action shoes, if he has to make one more, Death Wish couldn't be that bad.

As much as I wish that I liked Staying Alive, whether on a serious or ironic level, it is really just a brutal movie. The end musical number is so long and tedious that it makes you want to stab your eyes out. Hello loincloth! Stallone at least loves to make fun of it. I just would love to know who in the hey thought it would be a good idea to have him write and direct that. Of all movies. A musical. I always wonder how many people got fired over that one.



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Guru

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I caught a few minutes of Staying Alive on TV last night. Ouch.

Yeah, the Death Wish thing could potentially not suck. Only time will tell.

And honestly, a lot is probably hinging on how well Rambo does in its opening week. If it flops, I'm pretty sure his action career will be over. But, as he's shown us, he's not afraid to rock some straight to DVD flicks, so he'll have his options open.

I am really curious to see how the new Rambo does. People make fun of it, but you know there are a whole bunch of dudes in their late 30's who are jonesing for some old school action flicks like the ones they grew up on. So, you never know.

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For some odd reason, this doesn't sound that bad to me. At least in this flick he is supposed to be old. I don't think I would mind him doing this, although I would lobby for him to grow a Bronson moustache. That would be intense. I kind of like the idea of him going around getting revenge. I secretly love Get Carter and this sounds a lot like that, except in this he would be a normal guy. Which is always hard for him to pull off. As long as he doesn't do Staying Alive 2 I think I'll be fine. Or Rambo V.

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Now Stallone's got his eyes on Death Wish.

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God, it just looks awful. For all of my Stallone loving, Rambo First Blood Part 2 and Rambo III are maybe my least favorite flicks of his. I get it. You blow up stuff. He looks like a bloated child molester in the trailers. I mean, that hair and kind of drunk look is not threatening in any sort of way. I can't wait to laugh at this in the theater to hide my shame. This is so Stallone. Everytime he takes a step forward (Rocky Balboa, Copland) he takes five steps back (John Rambo, Driven). Just write your autobiography already. There are no decent books about him. It drives me nuts.

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I think this might be the new trailer.

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rambo-poster.jpg

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rambo-snake-bow.jpg
A few new images. John Rambo: Now a snake handler.

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Nice analogy.

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Guru

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That is like the jailhouse tat of bad movie watching.

Or something to that effect.

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Guru

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The preview looks like a MadTV spoof. And thank you for talking up my bad movie cred. I am quite proud of it. I have seen Madonna's pre-Madonna "A Certain Sacrifice" three times. Count it, three times. I dare you to watch it once. I am awesome.

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When biff says worst movie of all time, you know there's trouble. Because he has seen every single film in the imdb's bottom 100, and for that matter, films so bad that they aren't even listed on imdb. So, he knows just how bad films can be. That's what I'm trying to get across.

Anyway. Clearly it looks terrible, but for some reason not as terrible as I pictured it. I think I might just be impressed that he is actually doing it. I thought he'd talk about it and then realize what a terrible idea it was and give it up.

Obviously that did not happen. Well, he can still rip out throats, can't he?

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This looks like the worst movie of all time. It looked like a Troma movie with Stallone in it. Armageddon is upon us...

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For biff, if he hasn't seen it already.

It's not really a trailer, it's not really a teaser, I don't know what you'd call it.

When is Nighthawks II coming out?

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